“The Hell Month” - From My Window

It is a family joke that May is the “hell month,” due to the large number of special occasions.   It starts on May 4th.  This was my late father’s birthday, a birth date shared with both my Uncle Bill Lefebvre and dad’s lifelong friend Sam.  It is also the day Mike and I got married, and in 2024, we will be marking 39 years.   The cousin I call the “Schmid family sparkplug,” has her birthday May 2nd.  On to my mother’s birthday on May 8; this year we will observe what I will tactfully call a “whole bunch of years” birthday.  Then it is Mother’s Day, and well, you get the picture.

I find myself filled with emotions and nostalgia during this period of time every year.  Dad, Uncle Bill and Sam have all gone on, but I can picture them enjoying each other’s company in heaven.  My dad probably still tells mildly inappropriate jokes there.  I think of Dad and Sam every time I stay at my mother’s house, because while neither of them was a carpenter, they finished off the attic of my parent’s old farmhouse into much needed bedrooms.  Dad bought plywood seconds, and in a few weekends, aided by a couple of beers, bedrooms for our growing family were created.  Sam was generous with his time.  When I look around, I don’t see crooked cuts and missing trim; I see bedrooms for my siblings and I, providing the luxury of cherished privacy.

Current life expectance for a woman in the U.S. is 76.33 years.  Mom blew by that milestone more than a decade ago.   Of course this is a good thing, but it is hard on those who live so long, because they have to say goodbye to all the people who went on before hem...parents, siblings, spouses and friends; even a child for some.  It takes toughness to experience so many losses.  That psychological strength is every bit as important as physical health and luck in living so long.

Then there is our anniversary.  Given that we married in our late 20’s, we’ll need luck to reach the 50-year milestone, but I hope we do.  After so long, we function like a well-oiled machine.  We’ve been through a lot, like most long-term couples; losing three of four parents; friends, nearly all our aunts and uncles.  There’s been serious illnesses, major moves, job challenges, and kid disasters of various types.  In other words, nothing out of the ordinary tests committed couples face. 

Next weekend, my two Seattle kids are coming to join Mike and I in honoring mom.  I can’t think of a better way to spend my anniversary than in my childhood home eating birthday cake with her.   Moments like these are made to treasure.  Tomorrow is guaranteed to none of us; let us rejoice, and be glad.

Happy birthday Helen Thibodeau!

I welcome commentary, alternative viewpoints or ideas at this e-mail address:  JanieTMartin@gmail.com

Janie Thibodeau Martin