Packing your own suitcase

I was thinking about my son and his family in Oklahoma, because I knew they were busy packing their little camping trailer for a trip to a Texas beach.  

I remember the “joys” of packing for trips when our kids were small.  It was so different than it was before we had children.  I remember Mike and I deciding on the spur of the moment after work on Friday to go to Milwaukee for the weekend to catch a couple of Brewer games.  An hour later, we’d be on the road south.

Then we had children, and even a departure for an afternoon at Grandma’s house became a logistical challenge.  Diapers, wipers, spare clothing, maybe a bottle or comfort blanket, car seats, and an emergency snack lest someone die of hunger during the 20-minute drive.

It got really challenging when we moved to Oklahoma and trekked home to Wisconsin several times a year.   At first, of course, I handled all the packing for the kids.  I ensured they’d have weather and activity appropriate clothing plus twice as much of everything as I thought they’d need, since the were bound to get filthy or fall into whatever water was available.

As they got older, I introduced them to doing their own packing.  That meant they packed their own suitcases the night before departure and while they were asleep, I’d repack it, since something kind of obvious, like underwear, would be conspicuously absent.  I will give points to our daughter, who always ensured she at least had hooded sweatshirts, because she’s perpetually cold.  

After a year or two of this process, I stopped my suitcase audits and we lived with the consequences.  Sometimes that meant I was in a laundromat, and sometimes we’d turn underwear inside out for a second wearing.  Finally, we got to the stage where they packed, and I just issued dozens of reminders into their bedrooms while I walked back and forth in the hall, loading the vehicle.  “Don’t forget a coat!  “Do you have enough socks?”  

It’s a rite of passage, as children need to develop the skills to plan ahead, make hard decisions with a limited amount of space to work with, and learn from mistakes.  Like most other tasks in life, they progress from mom and dad taking care of them to making their own decisions and accepting the consequences.

There are so many memories like this of our lives when our kids were small, that come to me unbidden as I watch my grandchildren and their parents.  They do some things differently, and I totally approve, because I know they are great parents.  But some things never change, and there will still be a steep learning curve for the grandchildren in packing their own suitcases.

I get to watch these two special little humans grow up, reminisce about my own children, and laugh.  When I recall times from raising my two, it’s not the big events, like milestone birthdays or graduations, I remember most often. It’s the little things, like learning to pack their own suitcase.  All too soon, the youngsters pack up their suitcase for the last time as a resident of the family home, and depart for adulthood.

I welcome commentary, alternative viewpoints or ideas at this e-mail address:  JanieTMartin@gmail.com 

Janie Thibodeau Martin